Men Need A Lawyer When They Get Divorced!

You probably know of people who suffered the torments of hell going through divorce–and some who pulled it off without much fuss. Why are some divorces sensible and others catastrophic?

The answer depends on various factors, including the personalities of the people involved, the importance of what’s at stake, and sometimes on how much you rely on lawyers and courts to resolve troublesome issues. In general, the less you use the court, the less cost and heartache you’ll have — and in many cases, you’ll get a better final result. But how do you avoid courts and lawyers?

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

It makes a lot of sense to hire a lawyer if there is a real problem with abuse — spousal, child, sexual, or substance. In that situation, a lawyer can help you get the arrangement you need to protect yourself and your children.

It can also make sense to hire a lawyer if your spouse is being dishonest or vindictive and you just can’t cope with it. In that case, you may need someone to protect your interests.

It’s also prudent to hire a lawyer if your spouse has an attorney. This is especially true if you have children or are facing complicated financial issues. It could be difficult and emotionally intimidating to go head to head with a seasoned pro.

If you can’t afford a lawyer, consider calling your local legal aid office. If you qualify financially, a lawyer will at a minimum discuss the legal aspects of your case with you and may continue to answer questions on an ongoing basis during your proceedings while you represent yourself. Ask whether the legal aid office has a pro bono program. The office may have a list of private attorneys who are willing to take on cases referred by legal aid at little or no cost.

If you don’t qualify for legal services or pro bono help, you’ll have to shop around for someone to represent you.

If you fear that your spouse might harm you or your children (or abscond with your property), take action immediately. Move to a safe place, and, if necessary, get a temporary restraining order to keep the spouse away. It’s very important that you also get a temporary order for custody of your children, so that you’re not accused of kidnapping.

If you need money, you have the right to use your joint accounts. Take the amount of money you realistically need plus some extra for emergencies (but try not to take more than half of what’s there unless you absolutely have to), and immediately file an action in court for support.

How Divorce Mediation Can Help

Mediators help you and your spouse get over the emotional barriers to negotiation and negotiate a sensible divorce agreement that meets the both of your needs. Unlike lawyers, mediators work with both spouses at the same time. They don’t represent the individual spouses’ interests, the way a lawyer does. Instead, mediators facilitate a negotiation between the spouses that in most cases results in an agreement satisfactory to both sides.