Public Shaming Your Ex will Not Make Co-Parenting Easier. Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. There can be any number of reasons. You grew apart, you grew close to someone else, you grew to hate the sound of their voice. More serious issues might be at play. Whatever the cause, I’m so sorry to inform you that not every couple who breaks up rides off into the sunset of happiness.
Public Shaming Your Ex Makes Co-parenting more difficult
If you’re a parent and your relationship doesn’t work out, let’s just say that your life got a whole lot more complicated. Suddenly, you have an ex that you still have to speak with on a weekly basis. You don’t get to burn that person’s pictures and pretend they do not exist anymore. You have keep talking to that person, working with them, trying to make decisions together that greatly impact the most important thing in your life, which is hopefully your child. Your going to be partners, long after you stop being partners.
This is why it’s such a double-headed sword when parents take to the internet to bad-mouth their ex’s. Now don’t get me wrong. We all have a personal story to tell. With that being said, I feel like there’s a big difference between explaining the struggles that effect single parents or opening up about a particularly difficult time in your co-parenting relationship, and all-out shaming your ex on the internet and calling them a terrible person.
What possible good motive is behind an effort to publicly-shame your ex? What good does it do or how does it help encourage effective co-parenting by publicly insulting your ex, the parent of your child(dren) for not paying child support, calling on birthdays or their parenting skills?
If your goal is exact some sort of revenge and shame from your ex, I suppose that this a legitimate way to achieve that end. You can ruin a person’s reputation on the internet by yelling from the rooftops (or on social media) about how horrible they are. If that’s what you want to do, this course of action makes sense.
Public Shaming Your Ex Makes Makes It Difficult To Have A Functioning Relationship With Ex
On the other hand, if your goal is to ever have a functioning relationships with this person ever again, you might be going about things the wrong way. If your ultimate goal is for your child’s parent to be an involved part of their life or to be effectively involved in co-parenting, public shaming might not be the best way to go.
Even when things get difficult between two parents, I always kind of assume that most adults want their children to be happy. We want our kids to know both parents and to have healthy relationships. Sometimes, people choose not to do that, and I think it’s sad and unfortunate. Sometimes, reconciliation and happy endings aren’t possible. But if there’s a chance of moving on past the hurt and building family relationships, public shaming and insults ruins any opportunity at all.
Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. There can be any number of reasons. You grew apart, you grew close to someone else, you grew to hate the sound of their voice. More serious issues might be at play. Whatever the cause, I’m so sorry to inform you that not every couple rides off into the sunset of happiness on a unicorn under a rainbow made out of color-coordinating leprechauns.
If you’re a parent and your relationship doesn’t work out, let’s just say that your life got a whole lot more complicated. Suddenly, you have an ex that you still have to speak with on a weekly basis. You don’t get to burn that person’s pictures and pretend they do not exist anymore. You have keep talking to that person, working with them, trying to make decisions together that greatly impact the most important thing in your life, which is hopefully your child. Your going to be partners, long after you stop being partners.
This is why it’s such a double-headed sword when parents take to the internet to bad-mouth their ex’s. Now don’t get me wrong. We all have a personal story to tell. With that being said, I feel like there’s a big difference between explaining the struggles that effect single parents or opening up about a particularly difficult time in your co-parenting relationship, and all-out shaming your ex on the internet and calling them a terrible person.
If Your Goal Is To Make Your Child Happier After the Split, Stop The Public Shaming
What possible good motive is behind an effort to publicly-shame your ex? What good does it do or how does it help encourage effective co-parenting by publicly insulting your ex, the parent of your child(dren) for not paying child support, calling on birthdays or their parenting skills?
If your goal is exact some sort of revenge and shame from your ex, I suppose that this a legitimate way to achieve that end. You can ruin a person’s reputation on the internet by yelling from the rooftops (or on social media) about how horrible they are. If that’s what you want to do, this course of action makes sense.
On the other hand, if your goal is to ever have a functioning relationships with this person ever again, you might be going about things the wrong way. If your ultimate goal is for your child’s parent to be an involved part of their life or to be effectively involved in co-parenting, public shaming might not be the best way to go.
We want our kids to know both parents and to have healthy relationships. Despite how you feel about the other parent, we want the child(ren) to be happy after the breakup. Sometimes, people choose not to do that, and I think it’s sad and unfortunate. Sometimes, reconciliation and happy endings aren’t possible. But if there’s a chance of moving on past the hurt and building family relationships, public shaming and insults ruins any opportunity at all. Public Shaming Your Ex will Not Make Co-Parenting Easier!
Divorce is a difficult time. A time when you need your friends, people you can talk to. But remember, if you talk to them through social media, you may be also talking to you ex-spouse’s attorney. If you are considering divorce or have questions about the divorce process, speak with an experienced family law attorney.
